Skynet Does The Office: Citrix Says By 2035, Workers With Implanted Chips Will Have “Labor Market Advantage”


09-10-20 09:03:00,

Just when you thought things couldn’t get more dystopian this year, American multi-national software company Citrix has quietly released into the internet ethos that it expects workers to have “implanted chips” by the year 2035.“Welcome to McDonald’s. Can I take your order?”

Citrix has joined names like Zoom and Slack as popular talking points during the coronavirus pandemic, as more Americans work from home. The trend, while it may reverse course post-pandemic, is still widely considered to be secular in nature as software and technology has made it easier than ever to work from home.

But just how easy should we be making it? Citrix seems to think that Americans should willingly start turning themselves into cyborgs – a decision that, as champions of liberty we are fine with if people want it – but at the behest of their corporate overlords. 

The company Tweeted out about a week ago that those with “implanted chips” by 2035 will likely have a “labor market advantage”.

54% of business leaders believe that by 2035, workers with implanted chips will have a labor market advantage. Take a step into the future of work at #work2035

— Citrix (@citrix) September 28, 2020

Yeah, and if you turn yourself into a full on robot that never has to use the bathroom, eat or smoke a cigarette on a break, that would probably make you more appealing as well. 

By 2035 some workers will have taken technology augmentation a step further, choosing to be enhanced with implanted chips,” Citrix’s “Work 2035” report read. “Almost half (48%) of professionals would be willing to have a chip implanted in their body if it would significantly improve their performance and remuneration.”

The report notes an obvious delta between business “leaders” and employees on their feelings about implants: “Almost eight in 10 business leaders (77%) believe that under-the-skin chips and sensors will increase worker performance and productivity by 2035, compared to just 43% of employees who share this view.”

The company followed up in a blog post on its website: “Seventy-seven percent of all surveyed professionals believe that by 2035,

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